Monday, January 21, 2008


Froggy is coming home, dear readers, which means I am her final guest blogger.  

To tell you the truth, as I began writing this post a couple of day's ago, I had absolutely no idea about what I would write about.  I did not want to do a half-assed job either seeing as this is the first time I have been asked to be a guest blogger  So, I went back and read all my favourite Froggy posts.  Then, I made a list of everything I love about this blog and by extension Froggy. Very quickly, I knew exactly what I would write about.  

You see, Froggy and I? We are very similar insofar that we both have a penchant for unavailable men. Yes, we do, Froggy.  Yes, we do.

 She tends to find men that are in relationships. (In her defense, this is not intentional.  Hello?  I honestly believed without a shadow of a doubt that Maybe Crush was single.)

 I tend to find men that are about to leave the country.  (In my defense, this is not intentional either. Actually, in this case, it was. Uh hum, moving on.)

 Unavailable. Untouchable.  Unattainable.  And you know what?  It is not like we seek them out.  They just happen to be the only ones we really like.  I have thought long and hard about why this is the case.  I mean, Froggy and I are both pretty good catches.  We're bright, we're cute (did you see her tattoos and those adorable band aids?) and yet we persistently fall for the wrong guys.

Both of us have in the last year, become smitten by men that are very near replicas of that previous man that broke us down bit by bit. See, Froggy and I? We fell for two men.  They broke us (as only men can do). And did we learn from that experience?  No, because the next Big Crush?  Same. Exact. Scenario. Except, Froggy has been a real lady over the whole-Maybe Crush-is-NOT-single debacle and has with real class (and with a lot of will power) withdrawn herself from pursuing him.  I earnestly hope that she has broken the cycle of the curse of the unavailable men by this gutsy move.

 I, on the other hand, saw the flashing lights, heard all the warning signs and still jumped with my eyes wide open into the deep end.  Will power (and I guess, class) are most definitely not my strong suits.  

 I have been--for the last two months--actively pursuing an Australian man who is leaving Greece in two weeks.  Looking back, I realize that I actually only started acting when I found out that he was leaving.   As each day passed by (as only time can assuredly do), I did things that I would never have done otherwise.  I began frequenting The Bar where he works more often.  I flirted unabashedly. I gave him my number.  He did not call.  So, I very nearly forced him to ask me out.  And we did.  And it was great.  And we went out a second time.  And uncharacteristically I slept with him.  And then he did not call.  And then he did.  And then we went out a couple more times. And I see him at The Bar all the time.  And even though, all along,  he has told me that he can make no promises (i.e. I am just using you) and that he is leaving (i.e. I am just using you).  I put myself out there repeatedly everyday; put myself directly in the line of fire.

I have some previous experience with this.  You see, my ex-boyfriend (also Australian), left me nearly four years ago because he also wanted to go back home.  So, meeting this man now, a man who excites me, who moves me like no other man has in a long, long time, is such a cruel twist of fate, that most of the time?  When I am looking at him and giggling?  I am laughing at how funny The Universe thinks it is.  But then I remember that fate only took me so far.  It was I, and I alone, that forced myself to jump.

So, even though, this has got to be one of the most ill-fated flings of my life, I am making a promise to myself. Here. Today. On Out Of The Frying Pan.

Next time I meet a man--any man--I will first ask whether or not he intends to leave the country.  And I promise that if he replies in the affirmative, I will have Froggy's class, her guts and her will power to turn and walk the other way. 

And I wholeheartedly hope that by walking away both Froggy and I can find a man that is uncommonly (for us) available.




Peter said...

Very well done.

The writing I mean, not the masochistic dating tendencies.

Oh wait... I support those too.

tiff said...

The unavailable man...sigh. I know Hope.

Way to jump out of the frying pan (and hopefully not into a fire).

ana said...

Ah it's the worst kind, you get into a relationship and then you start dating your cellphone. Needless to say I've been there,
and hopefully, you will find a guy in the same zip code :)
and confirming before getting into it seems to be a good idea, given the history....

Princess Pointful said...

Hope? I adore thee.
I felt like busting out Shakespeare for no apparent reason.
You have to wonder what inexplicable force pulls these replicas into our lives again and again and again.

Anonymous said...

Seriously Hope? You are such a great writer, I can't even get over it.

And I sure do hope you keep your promise to yourself. You deserve someone who wants to stick around for you.

kristin b said...

Sometime soon, Hope, some guy's going to find you and refuse to leave. Sadly, though, those are the guys we have to wait out!