We're in the Money..

Try as I might, it seems that I am entirely incapable of coaxing intelligent thought from my brain today.

And so, I give you...

Things I Would Do If I Won The Lottery
(One of the really big ones)

Of course, there is the obvious stuff:

• Pay off my student loans.


• Buy a house. Or, more specifically, buy a Brownstone in Brooklyn Heights.


• INVEST! You'd have to be an idiot to think lotto winnings--even huge ones--could last forever.


• TRAVEL! Antarctica here I come!

Then the less obvious, but still standard fare:

• Pay off my parents' mortgage. They've earned it.


• Send my parents to Europe, with or without me. Again, they've earned it.


• Buy random but heartfelt gifts for friends and family, even my Evil Ex Roommate (who is marginally less evil these days), because years ago I promised I would. Also it might piss her off a little, and what's the point of being filthy rich if you can't be just the tiniest bit petty?


• Buy a vintage Mustang. 1964 1/2 Convertible, Rangoon Red... hell-o cargasm!! (And of course, my Brownstone would have a garage in which to keep it.)

Then the much-more-personal:

• Spend a month in an Ashram, to keep my rich ass grounded. Ironic, really, that becoming filthy stinkin' rich is the only way I could afford to spend a month living a life of utter simplicity... because some other chick already had the bright idea to write a book about it).


• Become a Slow Foodie. Or a Slow-ish Foodie. I wouldn't stop eating out or occasionally ordering a pizza, but I would have a vegetable garden (and probably have to hire a gardener to keep me from killing it), grow my own herbs, bake my own bread, make my own condiments (I heart homemade ketchup), learn how to make tortilla chips, buy large quantities of meat direct from the farmers and keep it in my sub-zero freezer, etc...


• Build a pottery studio in my basement. I really miss spinning pottery, even if I was never particularly good at it.


• Keep working. I would still want to get my PhD and teach college. I would find an arts organization I love (or start my own!) and work for them for a pittance. Sure, I'd work part-time and take time off to travel and whatnot, but I would definitely still work.


• Take trapeze lessons. I worked at a Summer Camp many years ago, and it had a circus unit. One day when all the campers were on a field trip the head of Circus let all the counselors have a go on Fly and oh-my-lord... I have never been so terrified-yet-exhilarated in my life! Freaking awesome.


• Adopt one of those kids that Sally Struthers is always talking about. Not in the Angelina Jolie way, no no no! In the pay-for-the-kid-to-eat-and-have-clothes-and-get-an-education way. Then I can stop feeling that little pang of guilt in my gut whenever I see one of those commercials. Also, it would be a good thing to do.


• Buy small studio flats in cities I love, like Rome. And probably London. Sublet them to students at low prices when I'm not around--which will be most of the time.


• Buy a horse. I'd probably have to board it in Jersey because even though I've won the lottery I can only imagine how obscenely expensive it must be to board a horse within NYC. But that's totally alright... I can just drive my '64 1/2 Mustang on over the Hudson whenever I want to ride. Sun shining, top down, wind in my hair... what? Oh, sorry, got distracted.

Hmmm... that's all I can think of at the moment. (Feel free to take that "all" with a grain of salt.) It's funny, because if I were to win the "small" lottery, it's those items in the last section of the list that would most likely come to fruition.

I guess that means I'm the type of girl who would rather have trapeze lessons and a pottery studio than a house and a debt-free credit report.

I'm totally cool with that.

Also you don't have to pay real-estate taxes on trapeze lessons.

So what about you? What's your off-the-beaten-path lotto dream?