Saturday, November 22, 2008

...

My mom called a little while ago, just as I was sitting down and preparing to be productive, with some bad news.

My uncle died from an overdose.

He was family by marriage, and he and my aunt have been divorced for many years. He had a lot of issues and could never seem to get his shit together (see above), at least, never for very long.

After the divorce, I think I was the only member of the former in-laws who didn't completely write him off. The last time I saw him was at my cousin's wedding, but I would always ask about him, wanted to know how he was doing. Sure, he was a fuck-up, but he was also funny as hell and incredibly smart, and I always loved being around him. When he was sober. And while his actions were never the best illustration of it, I know he loved his kids.

And today, it's his kids--my cousins--that are in my thoughts.

They've had it rough over the years, dealing with a father whose life is continually falling into a shambles, who could never be relied on for, well, anything. Neither of them talk about it much, but I know it's taken its toll. And to have it end like this, right before Thanksgiving, and with some other lurid details that I do not care to share with the internet at large, well... this makes me, personally, angrier than I've ever been with him. For not being able to get it together for the sake of his kids and grandkids, to leave them with this as the final memory of their father. It leaves me with a heavy heart, and no idea what to do or say for either of them, other than to let them know that they are both in my thoughts.

And while I hope that my uncle has now found the peace he couldn't find in life, my greater concern is for the peace of those who were left behind to pick up the pieces.

Today and every day I will be sending them my positive thoughts and love, and cling tight to the hope that, like all of the bombshells life drops in our laps, this too shall pass...

6 comments:

Deutlich said...

Oh man..

Jess said...

Oh, man. This sucks. I think you have great perspective on this, but I suppose that doesn't make it any easier for your cousins. My thoughts are with them.

amy said...

I'm sorry; you know I'm thinking about you. I hope all goes well during Thanksgiving. Let's get together soon, ok?

notthelifeiordered said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, my thoughts are with you and your cousins.

W said...

Oh man, I so sorry to hear about this. It's always hard to deal with the loss of family, no matter the depth of the relationship or how much you may try to brace yourself for it. I know it's cliche but always keep the positive thoughts in mind. Through my experience, that has always seemed to help.

If you need anything, let me know. Lord knows you've been there to support me countless times. Chin up, sweetheart.

Z said...

I'm sorry :(

I've got an uncle like this - though he is related by blood - and it is just so hard... Hard to see it, hard for him (and his family) to live through it, hard to know what to do to make anything better - if there is even anything that can be done.

Again, I'm sorry...