The Lighter Side of Why I Suck At Dating

I feel it's only fair that I tell you all that after my last rant-ish post, I went and gave my Match.com profile a complete overhaul.

Hell, I paid something like $70 for a 3 month membership, and one of those has come and gone with exactly nothing to show for it. Being that the economy is officially in the shitter and as such my job prospects are essentially nil, I figured it was time to start looking for a return on my investment, whether it be an enduring love to take my mind off the fact that I'm about to be broke, a dirty shag to keep me warm when my heat goes off, or a sugar daddy to pay my rent when the loans run out.

So I jumped back into that proverbial pond with a spear and a net, prepared to do a little fishin'... and found a feature on Match's website that's either new, or I just hadn't noticed before: the "Reverse Match."

In a nutshell, instead of running a search for someone whose profile fits all the arbitrary criteria that you deemed either Very or Not Very Important on a scale of 1-5, it shows you a list of people who are looking for someone with your criteria.

Since I am historically terrible at choosing men for myself, I thought I'd give that a whirl and see if any nearby, attractive, non-sociopathic males were looking for a girl like me.

Lo and behold, I found one!

Not only that, but we exchanged hourly goofy emails for the better part of the afternoon.

Now I haven't heard from him in 5 hours and I'm totally convinced that my last email somehow put him off.

Not that, you know, he actually has a life and just hasn't been around a computer.

Because that would be logical.

And when it comes to dating? This frog throws logic right out the proverbial window.

I just hope it doesn't hit a pedestrian. I'd kinda like to get it back.