Thursday, February 5, 2009

Pushing Through

It's rough out there.

In the current economic climate, I know there are many bloggers out there who are unemployed, and many more who are worried about becoming unemployed. As someone who has been in that state for nearly a year, I've been thinking about some of the changes that come with long-term unemployment.

First, Motivation. It disappears. Quickly. While I've never been prone to bouts of technical or clinical "depression," as it were, there are definitely days when I simply can't be bothered to do ANYTHING. This includes but is not limited to: cooking, showering, writing, leaving the house, or even getting off the couch. And if, like me, you are not a morning person? You can forget getting out of bed at a reasonable hour. I mean, why should you? If there is no pressing reason to get up before 10am (or, lately, 11am), the snooze alarm looks awfully inviting.

Or perhaps I should say feels awfully inviting, since I rarely actually open my eyes before hitting it.

Granted, this week both my Physical and Intellectual biorhythms are completely bottomed out, so the chances of getting myself going are pretty slim until my energy levels kick back up, but still... I feel guilty about being so lazy.

Housework also takes a serious hit. Right now? My apartment is a disaster area and in desperate need of a cleaning. Can I be bothered to do it? Nope. Not that I've ever been much of one for cleaning, but if the place is actually dirty enough to bother me? That's pretty bad. Unless, of course, spending excessive amounts of time at home has actually decreased my dirt tolerance... the high level of which was cause for many arguments between myself and the Evil Ex Roommate, who just couldn't grasp the fact that the minute level of mess that bothered her didn't even register on my radar...

Lately I've developed the habit of leaving the day's dishes to pile in the sink and then doing them the next morning when I'm still brain dead and therefore don't notice the tediousness of the task. I haven't done laundry in well over a month, which actually isn't all that unusual, but laundry involves a.) leaving the house, and b.) scrounging up money to pay for the laundromat.

Unemployment, which first seemed like a blessing--allowing me time to complete a grueling semester of grad school without losing my mind--has gradually morphed into a curse, a curse that is turning me into a female Al Bundy who never leaves the couch and can't be bothered to do, well, anything.

In short: it sucks.

I did not intend this post to be so Woe-Is-Me when I started it... I mean, in many respects, I'm quite lucky. Unemployment Insurance, plus the remnants of my student loans, have allowed me to remain comfortably in my apartment. Add on my tax return and, barring any calamities, I will be able to stay here until approximately June 15th. That's more than many people can say and I do realize that.

But it doesn't change the fact that I am sick of being unemployed, unmotivated, and seemingly unable to do anything about it.

My final complaint, before I put an end to my whining, is entirely unrelated...

Fucking Fresh Direct sent me Kirby Cucumbers instead of Endives! Hardly interchangeable, and now I can't try the new recipe I was going to make tonight.

Seriously, dumbasses, how can you mistake this:

for THIS???

Barring the fact that they're not even the same colour, one is a squash, and the other is a leafy green! GAH!!

Okay. Seriously. /whining

In other news, I noticed that my Google Reader subscription is up to 71 people... and I definitely don't know who all of you are! Please, say hello!

Also, I do have an award to pass out that the lovely Sequined gave to me... I'll get to that in the next few days! Stay tuned!


Ms Undecided said...

*waves* Hello!

Scribbles said...

*Yells "hi" all the way across the pacific ocean from New Zealand*

Arjewtino said...

I once wanted to eat an apple but ended up biting into a three-ring binder.

Fruit is confusing.

Elizabeth said...

I am sooo unemployed, but now gratefully so. It was the impetus I needed to start my own business, but I totally get you about the lack of motivation to take care of anything around the house. Dishes? So what? Dust balls? How about tomorrow? Ew, I know. Things are picking up now (no pun intended, seriously!) though!

K said...

I certainly know what you're talking about, motivation-wise. Combine that with being depression-prone &...

Well, let's just say that between my last 6-month bout of joblessness & that nasty little breakup not long after, I *still* can't be arsed to do much more than the bare minimum.

On a lighter note, I once ordered a whole bunch of motorcycle parts from I got most of the parts, but 3 very important bits were missing: a washer & 2 gaskets. The gaskets were 8ish by 10ish inches, the washer was about 2x2, & all were about 1/16" thick.

A couple of (very long) weeks later, I got a note from FedEx that they had left a box for me across the street. I went over to pick it up... Imagine my surprise when I found a box about 18" on a side!

My gaskets were there, but not the washer. No, in place of the washer was a motocross helmet.

(It worked out pretty well for me, actually. I re-used the old washer, & selling the helmet on eBay paid for the entire order.)

jenniti said...

1. Hi! =)

2. I don't think I've ever had an endive. Interesting fact? not really.

3. Eugh, I hate the unmotivated nothingness. At the end of the day you just feel like crap because you realize you did nothing, but the next day you still don't want to do anything. I hope things improve soon.

4. I don't have another point really, but the last one was kinda depressing so I'll just say that for supper tonight I had penis pasta. It was a girls night. I'm not some weird girl who eats penis pasta alone. That would be kind of sad. Well, amusing too actually. I've had a lot of sugar today.

Z said...

I am boggled by the veggie swap. But then, FD has effed up many of my own orders, so... Guess I shouldn't be.

As for the lack of motivation? For me, the season also has a lot to do with it. And? I'm with you on the just-not-feeling-like-doing-anything boat. Which sucks. I'd rather have my motivation back... But no, all effort goes into the lab, and none is left for home.

Under-Employed Girl said...

So nice to read a blog where I am not the only one who is unmotivated, isn't cleaning their apartment, doing laundry or getting off the couch. I'm blaming the weather on my lack of motivation since I'm still working. If I wasn't working I'd probably only get out of bed to get my take out delivery.

Lpeg said...

This post scares me a bit. I start unemployment on Monday, and this week I have been very motivated to find a job. I am nervous about next week though - I have a tendency to waste my weekends, and I do not want to fall into that habit come Monday, or else I will never get out of this state. And I am very aware of how easy it is to fall into a trap like that - once you start going down, it is so easy to stay there and do nothing.

So@24 said...

Isn't that weird when you notice you don't know who half the people are on your reader.

Are they afraid you might eBite?

fritz said...

I am one of the 71 so I am just saying hi! Good luck with The Contender (i met my fiance on match by the way...)