Thursday, October 4, 2007

It's a good thing I love rollercoasters...

'cause it's been one of those days. One of those days that starts off marginally shitty (couldn't get my ass in gear this morning, and then had an email from one of the bosses that soooooo pissed me off when I got to work this morning, ugh!), yet managed to climb steadily uphill throughout the day and ended on a nice high note.

I just hope that the stomach-churning drop comes in the form of a raunchy dream about Ryan Gosling, and not some sort of catastrophe.

And I don't believe it's a coincidence that the uphill climb began as soon as I left the office.

With some time to kill before class and figuring I could use the exercise, I walked down to Union Square and was unable to fight the urge to enter Sephora. $60 and a smattering of guilt later I was out the door and on the phone with a good friend of mine from way back who had a baby 3 weeks ago and this is the first chance I've had to actually chat with her, hooray! Found a seat in Union Square (and probably annoyed the hell out of my benchmates, but whatever), and chatted with her for a good 40 minutes. Nothing like dishing with people you've known for well over half your life to lift the spirits.

She had to dash to feed the little one, so I wandered over to the Strand to browse the YA and children's book session--the same class assignment that led me to Amazon the other day--and WOW. Can I just tell you that kids these days are getting books that are SO freaking awesome it makes me jealous!?!? The Strand has always been a dangerous place for me--or more specifically, my wallet--but I never thought I'd be in the same sort of peril in the kids' section. Boy was I wrong! I managed to walk out with only two books, both pertinent to class, but it was tough man. Very tough.

I got to class fairly early and ended up having a very cathartic mini-bitch-session with one of the girls in my class, where I learned that a.) yet another person is frustrated with one of my other classes, and b.) I am not the only one having the variety of grad-school-induced-panic-session that I was having late last night while smoking on my fire escape. What? Didn't mention that? Nevermind, I'm sure I'll have another before the semsester is over.

Class itself was great. Our professor is somewhere halfway across the globe, so we had some guests from within our field come in to do a workshop and Q&A with us. It was a lot of fun and actually informative, and getting up on my feet and doing stuff always lifts my mood.

After class was a rehearsal for the outreach program and that means... Maybe Crush! Woohoo! Though honestly, I'm not sure what the next step is with this boy. I'm sending the signals. I always make eye contact and smile when I enter the room--hell, tonight I freaking waved! I went out of my way to sit by him when he was off alone. At the end of the night we were talking to our professor about his upcoming travel plans and MC seemed really enthused on the subject so I tried to keep him involved on the elevator and out the door.

Here's where we hit a snag. Outside the door we run into some other folks from rehearsal, one of whom happens to be my new favourite person in the universe. Let's call him AC. Wait, AC? Like AC Slater? Haha, okay, I'm totally gonna call him Slater. Anyway, never fear, Slater is gay, so no competition for Maybe Crush (though there may be a dark horse in the running, who we'll just call... The TA). Sorry, I digress. I start talking to Slater because I love him, while still trying to engage Maybe Crush, and next thing I know MC is departing.

So, what? If I don't try my hardest to wrangle you into conversation, you bail? I have reassessed my initial appraisal of "shy." Now I'm going with Impenetrable Fortress, aka- The Loner.

When I came in tonight, he was standing all alone by the wall. Before I sat next to him, he was sitting all by himself. I gotta admit I find it kinda sexy, but jesus! Throw a gal a bone!

In case you couldn't tell, I am a fairly outgoing and energetic person (a trait that Slater brings out in me to an extensive degree). You know how they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink? Well I probably could make that horse drink if he thought I'd shut up afterwards!

So needless to say, I have little difficulty holding up my end of the conversation. But I'd like a little help every now and then.

I'd give up all together, but I swear... there is something in those eyes that says he's at least a little bit attracted to me. I can't be that oblivious.

Oh who am I kidding? Yes, yes I can.

But still...

Oh the hell with it, no use obsessing at 11:12 at night.

As a final note, being in rehearsal tonight was really great. It's been a long time since I've been in such a focused environment, doing that kind of work. It felt really good and reminded me why I'm doing all this in the first place. Crushes and new friends (fabulous new friends) are an excellent added bonus, but I'm really here to hone my craft and be able to bring this joy to others.

But really, if you see Maybe Crush, give him a little shove in my direction.


Princess Pointful said...

It is hard to know with guys sometimes. I would be less inclined to take it personally, in your case, as he seems to not be going out of his way to talk to anyone, yet actually takes the time with you, albeit probably not to the best of his abilities.

What are you studying? I'm trying to figure it out, but not quite sure!

the frog princess said...

Ah, hadn't mentioned that, had I? :) I am studying Educational Theatre. Hence an outreach program that involves rehearsals.

Princess of the Universe said...

I think there's hope- he probably appreciates the fact that you make the effort for him.

Thanks Pointful for asking about the program- I was trying to figure it out myself!

Hope said...

Maybe he's really, really shy? Maybe, you intimidate him?

I'm more of the shy, quiet, won't talk to people type and I get even more quiet around people who are very talkative.

If you're interested, I'd say keep at it and eventually you'll get through to him!

OC said...

I love how we (females) analyze the looks, the eye contact, the waving, the tone of voice, all of it... while the oblivious guy probably goes home, has a beer and goes to bed. :) I'm doing the same thing (analzying, re-analyzing, obsessing...) and glad I'm not alone with it! :)