Friday, December 28, 2007

Communications Blackout

I have been without internet access (*gasp!*) since early Wednesday morning, as we were off to Ohio to fulfill our filial duties. At one point my cousin, my uncle, and I had all booted up our laptops in an attempt to scam wireless from the neighbors, but to no avail. It seems that wireless routers are not all that common in suburban Columbus. Oh well.

Aside from the roughly 15 hours spent in the car over the past 3 days, the holidays have been quite festive. All the handmade Christmas gifts went over well, which was gratifying--though if you could have heard the stream of obscenities uttered in the back seat of the car while I was finishing the Advent calendar, you may not have been feeling the holiday love. I certainly was not.

A note to the craftily-inclined public: "sew-on" velcro rounds are backed with an adhesive that is so sticky it will literally coat your needle with every stitch. Be sure to have a solvent, a thimble, and a pair of pliers on hand. My fingers are raw and I made a serious dent in the bottle of Windex that my dad keeps in the truck.

To further exacerbate my increasingly vile mood, every time a grumble or expletive escaped my lips my mother would turn around and look at me with that typical, mother-esque "oh, I'm sorry my baby is frustrated..." look until I finally snapped and told her to JUST STOP LOOKING AT ME! PRETEND I'M NOT EVEN HERE! I DO NOT WANT AN AUDIENCE FOR THIS DEBACLE!

Fortunately she took it with an uncustomary good grace.

In a cheerier retrospective, my parents spoiled me rotten this Christmas--which is a change from the usual, where my father and I spoil my mother rotten and she is opening gifts well after he and I have finished. It seems that this year was my turn, but I suppose these things go in rotation. Also, it completely makes up for the fact that my grandmother gave me what is quite possibly the world's ugliest necklace (though my other adult cousins would probably wish to submit theirs for consideration as well), and the memoirs of Alan Alda.

Yes, Alan Alda.

The same book was also given to another adult cousin and several uncles. Methinks the lady is running out of ideas. She is 80 years old, however, so that probably qualifies her for the Senility Escape Clause. At least she has declared that she is no longer giving jewelry to the grandkids. (Seriously, this thing is heinous. Did I mention there's a matching bracelet? Pictures forthcoming.)

I'm really not sure where else to go with this. My brain is fried from so much time in the car--as well as a day and a half in close quarters with my large and noisy extended family. At least I have one more day to recover here in PA before trekking back to the city and then off to Uganda! Tomorrow is haircut and errands and possibly a visit to BFF and her brood.

So, in the spirit of The World's Ugliest Necklace... what was your "Oh, gee... thanks..." gift this holiday?


Jess said...

Well, it wasn't MINE, per se. But my sister and I both love purple beyond all reason. So my mom's best friend gave us matching colanders--except that mine was purple and my sister's was blue. I could see her fury when we opened them at the same time. It makes no sense because our mom's friend KNOWS we both love purple. She just likes to do the color matchy thing and I was the one who lucked out.

OC said...

For the first year in a while, I didn't get anything horrible... I did get a pair of giant sunflower earrings (for the girl who doesn't wear jewelry) that I'm not sure what to do with, but on the scope of gifts? Not so bad!

Safe travels.

Princess Pointful said...

Alan Alda?
I seriously started laughing out loud. So deliciously random!

I did pretty good this year, actually. The worst gift was a sweater that was nearly identical to the one I'd worn the day before!

And Uganda so soon?? Eek!

Deutlich said...

It was definitely a bottle of Tequila from my father, who has a drinking problem.