I...

...am a fucking idiot.

Oh, you're thinking, well that's a bit harsh really. I think "occassionally challenged" would be more appropriate...

But no. This morning? Fucking idiot is truly the only term that applies.

Why?

Well let's see... my commute to work takes roughly 45 minutes, depending on when I leave the house and whether or not the three different trains I take to get here are running on time.

This morning I was on the third train, one stop away from my destination, when I thought to glance in my bag and realized, to my horror, that I had left my wallet at home.

Shit.

And why was it not in my bag, where it always resides?

Because last night I purchased a measly 400 "Microsoft Points" so that I could download a song I wanted from the Zune marketplace, then left my wallet on the table, strategically placed underneath a folder of travel info, because really? I would totally see it there in the morning.

Are you beginning to get the picture? Just wait. It gets better.

Aside from the fact that I am now walking the streets of New York City without a single form of identification, let's take into consideration the fact that I need to leave my house tomorrow morning at roughly 4am. There is, therfore, quite a lot that I need to accomplish this evening, that I had planned to accomplish over my lunch break, but which cannot be accomplished without my wallet, such as...

Get cash and traveler's cheques (my debit card is a Mastercard, and in Uganda they only take Visa).

Go to Duane Reade and get the last few items that I forgot to get on yesterday's trip (duh Froggy, that's what shopping lists are for).

Buy cat food (you know, so she doesn't starve in my absence).

Not to mention the fact that I have no money to buy food, so breakfast consisted of a Trader Joe's cereal bar that had been flattened to nearly paper-thinness in the bottom of my bag, and lunch will likely consist of cup-a-soup (if there is still any lurking in my desk drawer).

So... now I have to leave work early, go allll the way back to Brooklyn, get my wallet, go alllll the way back into Manhattan (because there is neither a branch of my bank nor a store that sells the fancy cat food that is all my cat will eat even remotely in the vicinity of my apartment), fulfill the above obligations, then go back to Brooklyn, go to the Dollar Store, pack, clean the fridge, clean the litterbox, and then maybe, just maybe get a few hours sleep before I have to leave.

Why oh why can't I ever do things the easy way?

Oh, that's right.

Because I'm a fucking idiot.