Monday, March 31, 2008

Facebook gives me the popularity I never had in High School...

I... was not popular in high school.

Not that I was quite reviled... although I will admit that there were many of my fellow students who had a hard time dealing with my complete inability to give a shit what they thought of me--an ability which I wish I had retained in my adult life. It seems that the older I get, the more I care... which, quite frankly, pisses me off. But I digress.

I'm not sure if it's the feel of Spring in the air or the fact that "Send us your current address!" emails have been circulating as our 10 year reunion looms (though true to form, the class of '98 will not be reuniting until somewhere close to 2009... we never could get our shit together). Whatever it is, it seems that every individual that I so much as sneezed on in High School is now sending me a Facebook friend request.

When the hell did I get so fucking popular?!?

If your name shows up in my Inbox and I have to go to your profile to figure out who the fuck you are... we are not friends!

If you are the older brother of someone in my graduating class, but you and I exchanged less than 2 sentences during the two years we both walked those hallowed halls... we are not friends!

I mean, sure, technology is great for catching up with those people that we genuinely want to talk to... but really people, the popularity contest ended the moment our mortarboards flew through the air. Just because we inhaled the same concrete dust Freshman year while the school was being renovated, sat through the same horrid assemblies, and perhaps fought over the last Oatmeal Cream Pie in the snack line in the cafeteria, does not mean we have to pretend to like each other a fucking decade later.

If you genuinely want to be my friend... buy me a drink at the fucking reunion.

I'll be unemployed, I'll need it.

10 comments:

Hope said...

Erm, yea. Hi. I swear I could have written this word for word. Except for the last sentence. Mine would have read something lke...

If you genuinely want to be my friend...introduce me to a man at the fucking reunion.

I'm still single. I need him.

Kass said...

I get friend requests from people that were the meanest cunts, and I had absolutely nothing to do with. It's like WTF? You were an asshole to me, why would I want to know you now? Oh right, you just want me as another "friend point" on your friend list. What.a.loser.

Gah!

Princess Pointful said...

I went to a tiny high school that spanned from Gr. 7 to 12. When I was in the younger grades, we always knew who all the Grade 12's were, even if they didn't have the slightest clue about us. Apparently it was the same when I was in Grade 12, according to these faces with slightly familiar names.

Though I don't necessarily object to adding people who were jerks to me because my life is going pretty good-- PhD, bitches! (hahaha)

Deutlich said...

dude. SERIOUSLY.

Stupid social networking sites..

Jess said...

The last sentence of this post is hilarious and also tragic. That's true pathos.

Also, that's why there's a difference between friends and "Facebook friends"; the latter really means "I've met you. Or think I might have seen you once."

Z said...

I was just friended by a girl I used to babysit for. She is now in highschool. Her page made me feel old :(

Samantha said...

Totally hear you. I've been getting the oddest old school "friend" requests too.

cdp said...

Dude, I totally hear you. People that straight up DID NOT LIKE ME have friended me on facebook. And for what it's worth, I most definitely did not attend my most recent reunion. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I was even invited . . .

chasinglibby said...

so true! the term 'friends' on fb is actually synonymous with 'people whose names i recognize'

i had an fb cleanout when i finished uni.

chasinglibby said...

so true! the term 'friends' on fb is actually synonymous with 'people whose names i recognize'

i had an fb cleanout when i finished uni.