Randomness, It's What I Got...

As much as I would love to sit down and write a coherent post, it just does not appear to be happening.  So here are the thoughts that floated through my head as I ran errands in Manhattan this afternoon.

Jesus Christ!  Could you have found a worse place to stop!?  People who stop dead in the middle of busy sidewalks deserve to be fucking kicked.

Attention:  If your skirt is shorter than your shirt... it doesn't count.  Put on some damned pants.

You know... I'm really glad that people can't hear what I'm thinking 90% of the time... but ever since I started watching "True Blood" I find myself considering it as a possibility.  I need to watch less television.  Or stop reading DListed.

And there it is... perhaps not my best material, but it was a bit of an off day.  For starters, I'm fairly certain that my uterus is trying to take over the world.  Or at the very least, Brooklyn.  Anybody watch "Fringe" last night?  Because I feel like the girl in the opening scene.  That's enough to make anyone crabby.

Also the chick who spawned the first mental outburst stopped dead, two inches in front of me, in the only moving lane of foot traffic on a crowded sidewalk under a construction awning (read: no escape).  She's lucky she made it out with her shins intact.

For reasons I cannot quite fathom, I am considering buying a Nintendo DS.  If I buy it, there's a very strong chance that I will never use it, but there's a genetic anomoly in my family that causes us to compulsively purchase electronics.  I was on the Circuit City website and saw that they only cost $130 and I practically started salivating.  If I didn't need it for necessities like groceries and Pinkberry, I would totally stick my debit card in a ziplock full of water and stick it in the freezer to save me from myself.

I'm not kidding.  I actually did that with a credit card in college.  My debit card wasn't a risk at that point, as my bank account was empty.

Another reason I should not be purchasing unneccessary electronics is that I am apparently unemployable.  I got turned down for another job this week, and so made the command decision that since I've got my student loans and can suck on the Unemployment teat for at least another 2 months, I would start looking for internships and put my virtually-nonexistent networking skills to use in hopes of alleviating my employment leprosy.  I'm meeting with one possibility tomorrow, and judging from our phone conversation it's pretty much mine... unless I fuck up royally during our meeting.

And this is me we're talking about, possibly the worst interviewee in the world.  This is why I think job interviews should be held in bars.  After a few beers I can make just about anyone love me.  Sadly, that's not an option, so keep your fingers crossed.

I promise I will get back to reading all of your blogs very soon.  I still haven't worked up the courage to open my Google Reader... I may have to hire someone to go in first and test the air.  I need a Google Reader Canary.

Well then... I think I shall quiet my rebellious uterus with some Aleve and an Ambien and head to bed.  One of the many things currently wrong with my PMS-riddled (or is it DMS now? oh whatever) body/brain/life is that I have had absolutely no discernible sleeping pattern since I returned to the States.  Perhaps if I can get myself on some sort of schedule I'll be able to pull my shit together. 

I'm not exactly Brittney Spears, but I must admit that right now?  I'm feeling a bit of a mess.