Nocturnal Emissions

Two nights in a row, I have dreamt about my Ex.

This is not an Ex that I want back in any shape or form.  In fact, this is the Ex who taught me what, precisely, I absolutely will NOT put up with in another partner ever again.  So what gives?

The night before last, I dreamt that I was out drinking with him and his wife--whom I have never met, and who had a different name in my dream, probably because it took me a day to remember what her real name is.  That dream was peopled by a large number of random faces from the past--an old friend, Jeff (my Brit friend Violet's fiance), a couple of twins I went to high school with... and Amy Winehouse, just to make it absolutely certain that this dream did not wander out of the realm of the totally freaking bizarre.  So seeing the Ex in this whacked-out context really didn't phase me.  My dreams like to fuck with me.  I'm used to it.

But two nights in a row?  What's up with that?

Last night's dream was decidedly more unsettling.  We were, for whatever insane reason my sleeping brain was able to concoct, back together (nearly 10 years after we broke up... and in the real world he is, in fact, married).  We were going to bed and next thing I know I wake up and he's sleeping on the couch rather than the bed, pouting because I wasn't paying attention to him (duh, I was sleeping).  This is not a stretch.  This exact argument most likely happened at some point in our relationship--much like the time he woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he'd just thrown up, and then freaked out on me when I didn't make a big deal out of it (because apparently I was his mother as well as his girlfriend... and HI!  We'd been drinking all night jackass!.... *deep breath*... Whatever, that's a rant for another day...) 

Anyhoodle, in the dream we began arguing (duh), I said something about it being "the same old shit," and next thing I know we're having sex. 

This, also, is not a stretch.  Particularly considering that there was no foreplay, it wasn't all that great, did nothing for me--a fact which he most likely did not notice and made no attempt to rectify--and he got off and I didn't.

Fortunately my dream then veered off in another bizarre-o direction as he went off to take a shower (and pouted that I did not want to accompany him... there was always a lot of pouting) and my surroundings transformed into somewhere else entirely.

But still... what the fuck?  What spurred this intrusion of my past into my dreams?

This morning my horoscope said "In Love, your inner self is going through a phase of crisis; everything around you is not right and you want to renew and regenerate yourself."  So perhaps these weird dreams are just a manifestation of whatever crisis I'm supposedly in--though what could have triggered it, I have no idea.  I haven't even called Hot Bartender since flirting with him a few weeks ago (though I'm still considering it, purely for booty call purposes... I'll keep you posted).

In conclusion, I would just like to send a little cosmic message to the Universe (and my warped psyche):  keep my Ex out of my freaking dreams!  They (and I) are fucked up enough as it is...