Retail Therapy

Victoria's Secret is discriminating against women with small breasts.

I realized the other day that the majority of my bras are in what could only be described as deplorable condition, and so as part of this afternoon's retail therapy mission, I decided to head over to good ole' Vicky's and see what I could find.  At the first store I entered, I was disgruntled to find that not a single one of the bras I liked was available in my size--34A--and was more than a little puzzled that many styles didn't even have 34A drawers through which to browse.  I chalked this up to it being a small location and decided to head further uptown to the huge 2-level store in Herald Square.

I arrived and breathed a sigh of relief at the much larger selection and once again began to browse, only to encounter more of the same:  Not a single 34A in sight!  Those that I was able to find all contained about an inch of foam padding, and gone are the days of removable padding, oh no!  All of this stuff was permanently attached.  Finally, I found a saleswoman and asked, somewhat exasperated, where I might find a size 34A, non-padded bra.

There was ONE.  Gee, so much for selection!  At first the salesgirl thought there might be two, but no!  Lo and behold, Body By Victoria no longer comes in A cups.  Neither, for that matter, do well over two-thirds of the styles in the store!  I came home to browse the website and was elated that hooray!  My favourite style--the push-up without padding--had returned!  But... you guessed it.  No A cups.  Foiled again!

So what gives Vicky?  Girls with small tits are no longer allowed to have nice lingerie?  Girls with A cup boobs can't possibly be comfortable in their bodies and therefore we only sell them bras with ridiculous amounts of padding?

I've got to say, Ms. Victoria, I am deeply disappointed.  This is the first time my retail therapy has left me feeling the need to seek therapy!

And PS - one of your security guards stepped on my foot--right on top of my new tattoo!!  Nice to see we are hiring security guards who are vigilant and aware of their surroundings.

Fortunately Vicky's was the only aspect of my retail therapy trek that left me looking for a shrink.  I more or less signed over my firstborn to Sephora, which is not all that unusual.  I attempted to shop at H&M but it appears that two seasons of my adoring everything in the store have dried up my shopping karma--I wasn't tempted to try on a single article of clothing.  Sadly, the only store currently housing anything I would consider wearing is Urban Outfitters, and every time I walk into that store I feel a little piece of my soul shrivel up and die.  Which didn't stop me from spending a bunch of money, which is the only way to actually purchase anything in that overpriced haven of hipster cliches.  Still, I dare anyone to mock me in my rockin' 1920s style hat.  For real.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat my dinner and shop for lingerie from Frederick's of Hollywood.  At least they still make bras in my size!