Apartments, Dating, and Other Annoyances

Oh glorious denizens of the internet, I am once again calling on you to harness the powers of goodness and light and send positive real estate vibes my way tomorrow (Tuesday) when my lease application is submitted to the landlord.

I think I've managed to cobble together enough proof that I am a viably employable person and able to pay the rent--and I really, really, REALLY hope it works. Having a place to move--that is significantly less expensive than where I live now--would be a huge weight off my shoulders.

In other, thoroughly unrelated news, some inner demon (and a 3-months-for-the-price-of-1 promotion) coerced me to join Chemistry.com.

So far, I am not impressed.

Part of the reason I bothered joining at all was that after you make a profile, it won't even let you see the faces of the guys who say they're interested in you until you've paid for a membership--and personality test aside, looks are freakin' important. They are. Case closed.

So that's one unimpressive (though skillful re: marketing) aspect of the site.

Another is that the smallest distance radius you can give is 50 miles. FIFTY! That may be all fine and dandy for people who live in the mid-west, drive that far for work every morning, and, you know, have cars... but for those of us living in the big city who rely on mass transit, dating someone who lives halfway across New Jersey is simply not an option, no matter how good he looks with his shirt off. Give me someone in the five boroughs, please.

Now, I opened my account two days ago, and just paid for the subscription today, so all I've seen is the 15 matches they've given me over the last 3 days (you get 5 a day, it's all based on the test, no browsing a la Match), and the 9 guys who expressed interest in me after being sent my profile.

And of all of them? So far? Nada.

Feeling like I need to at least give the system a shot, being that I've paid for it and all, I expressed interest in one of them, who seemed kinda alright... then again he's also Catholic, so chances are my Agnostic/Atheist/Undefined-Religious-Status-But-Definitely-Doesn't-Believe-In-Any-Type-of-Sentient-All-Powerful-God self will most likely never jive with a guy who buys in to Transubstantiation (which, if you think about it, totally equates with cannibalism... just sayin'...)

So, has anybody else attempted this newest online dating fad? Or am I the lone explorer, set out to conquer this foreign and oddly-governed land?

I'm just wondering if I can find a way to make money off of this experience. Then I could totally write it off on my taxes.