The Experiment

I was debating about whether or not to blog about this, but then figured... what the hell? That's what a blog is for, right?

In what I have dubbed The Great Hair Experiment, I have temporarily stopped shaving. While doing research for Research Project From Hell (on which I got an A, by the way! Hoorah! I will post part of it for y'all when I finally figure out how to get it formatted for the blog so it doesn't look like a giant mess), I came across several essays on body hair and shaving--mostly from the "Oh, this is an evil social norm imposed by men! Hairy sisters unite!!" standpoint which, I gotta say, is not really my bag.

But it did get me thinking.

Throughout our early adolescence we (girls) eagerly await the arrival of body hair... just so we can shave it off. While it's the hair itself that signals the biological entry into womanhood, it's the removal thereof that makes us feel like women. The more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed. And so I decided to give it a shot, this whole au natural thing.

So far the results are mixed.

First, the legs. That's easy. I know I don't like having hairy legs. I went through a phase when I was about 16 where I stopped shaving (yes, it was a hippie phase), and all was fine and dandy until one day I was out hiking with Highschool Boyfriend and I kept swearing I was walking through spider webs! Yech! I was totally bugged out and couldn't figure out why it was only me that kept running into them.

Then I realized that that tickly sensation was the wind ruffling my leg hair.

I went home and shaved that night.

(Ironically, in one of the essays I read the woman described the exact same sensation as "sensual." I definitely think "creepy" is a more apt description.)

So in the spirit of The Great Hair Experiment I'm letting the legs get fuzzy once more. But I'm not happy about it. At least it's Winter and I'm wearing pants.

Then there's the, er, bikini region. In the interest of full disclosure (because really, if you're still reading at this point, you obviously don't have TMI issues), I have been a Brazilian kinda gal for many, many years. So suddenly going in the complete opposite direction? Was maybe a bit traumatic.

But now that it's been about a month? I'm wondering why the hell I ever did that in the first place.

Actually, no, that's not quite true. I know why... in a sense. Honestly, at first I was just bored and wondered what it would look/feel like. Then it was a sensory thing--I liked the way it felt. But, I always sort of had an issue with the aesthetics (i.e., looking like I was 8 years old).

Now I can honestly say that I feel so much more female, more like a grown, adult, woman. Not a girl.

Once again it just takes me back to the whole idea of the ritual--the shaving, plucking, waxing, Nair-ing, etc.--being the mark of womanhood, rather than the actual biological mark of growing hair in certain places. It makes me wonder how we got here as a culture, how this became part of our gendering process.

And then, finally, the area of perhaps the most contest for women--the pits. This one is exceptionally strange. There are days when I love it, and days when I think "yech! gross!", and I can't figure out what triggers either reaction.

A few days ago I was in a bathroom at school, dirty and overheated from working in the shop (which is possibly the hottest room on earth), just wearing jeans and a tank top, having a good (head) hair day, and as I glanced in the mirror I caught sight of a hairy armpit and in that moment I felt so goddamned sexy! I can't explain why, or how, but I did.

The next morning I was in the bathroom blowdrying my hair, arms over head, and it was back to "yech! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up...".

In other words, the jury is still out.

I don't know how long The Great Hair Experiment will last. I'm fairly certain the legs will be the first to go. I am going to a party this weekend and plan on dressing up--will the underarms make me feel sexy in my spaghetti straps, or not so much? I suppose we'll see what kind of day it is when it gets here.

No matter how it ends up--whether I go back to baby-baldness, become a permanent hairy-sister, or reside somewhere in between--it's definitely been interesting.

I think that, in our own way, we all need to explore our own ideas of femininity. If the packaged, commonly accepted variety works for you... more power to ya! If you prefer to wander a bit (or a lot) farther off the beaten path... just be sure to bring a compass and plenty of water, and have fun!

I think a lot of our body image issues come not only from packaged ideas of what is attractive (super-skinny, big boobs, long hair), but what is feminine (lip gloss, high heels, stockings). The more we allow ourselves to create our own definitions of femininity--and accept those definitions created by our peers--the more comfortable and happy we can become in our own skin.

Not one of us is more woman than the other, high heels, socket wrench, or hairy pits be damned.